


Foolish Mortals

by StarJem



Series: Disney World [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Disney World, Established Relationship, Fluff, Haunted Mansion is pretty tame, Haunted mansion, Humor, Kuroo just wants to be a good boyfriend, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Rated T for the theme because it might be a bit scary???, but I rather be safe than sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 18:05:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15273237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarJem/pseuds/StarJem
Summary: Kuroo wants to be the cool boyfriend and there's no better way to prove it than by going on a scary ride and protecting your scared boyfriend.





	Foolish Mortals

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write kurotsuki riding my favorite ride at Disney World! This is part of my very first kurotsuki fic which was originally supposed to be a multi-chapter. I really hope I did both my favorite pairing and favorite ride justice!
> 
> Side Note: Rides are called attractions at the Disney Parks so that's why I wrote attraction unless Kuroo or Tsukki are talking!

It is the second day of their Disney World vacation and Tetsurou and Kei are at the Magic Kingdom, one of the most, if not _the_ most, popular park on property.  
  
Tetsurou is wearing a white shirt with a rainbow and Donald Duck’s face outlined in rainbow in the middle, a Donald Duck pass case, and a Donald Duck baseball hat. He is wearing ocean blue shorts and gym shoes to almost complete the look.  
  
Kei is wearing a similar outfit only his clothing and accessories are Daisy Duck. He is wearing purple shorts to compliment the shirt as well as gym shoes.  
  
Tetsurou holds a map as the two of them stand by the Town Square theater while they look and see which attraction they will go on first. Although he already has one in mind. The Haunted Mansion.  
  
He wants to start the day off with a spooky ride. As cliche as it sounds, he hopes that Kei will get at least a little scared so he can be the cool, brave boyfriend who will protect him from the happy haunts. His love will cling onto him and that will set the mood for the entire day.  
  
“Tetsurou. Why are you grinning like an idiot?”  
  
Tetsurou doesn’t realize that he is grinning at the thought of protecting his boyfriend while riding the attraction. “Huh? Uh, nothing. Just excited to finally ride this!”  
  
Kei rolls his eyes while smirking. “Lead the way,” he says nonchalantly as he motions for his boyfriend to take them to the Haunted Mansion.Tetsurou grins at him and follows the map he is holding.  
  
After walking up Main Street USA, making a left at the castle, they enter Liberty Square where the Haunted mansion resides. They walk past the Hall of Presidents and make a right at the Liberty Square Riverboat.  
  
They pass by the Columbia Harbor House on their right and curving to the left where they meet face to face with the Haunted Mansion. The Dutch Gothic-style mansion is hidden partially behind trees and looks clean and well taken care of.  
  
There are two entrances to the queue and one exit. On the left is the standy by entrance and the other to the right of it is for those with fastpasses. Tetsurou didn’t get fastpasses because he didn’t want them to miss the cool queue. Tetsurou puts the map away in his backpack and they follow other guests into the queue.  
  
They walk through the covered queue, passing by a hearse with a ghost horse pulling it on their right. Tetsurou makes sure he and Kei took their time to take in the sight. They are able to get a good look at the mansion and see all of the incredible detail. He takes out his phone to take a few pictures of the mansion before walking further through the rest of the queue.  
  
To their left is the entrance to the interactive cemetery. To their right as soon as they enter are busts of six (two share a pedestal) of the haunts that reside in the mansion with a rhyme on each pedestal saying who they are and describing how they died.  
  
Continuing forward they see a couple of tombstones with more names and rhymes, followed by crypts. One of the crypts is for a composer with an organ at one end and various instruments carved into the sides of it. Each instrument plays a sound when it is touched. Tetsurou touches the bagpipes and sound comes out. His eyes sparkle with delight; like a child. “Kei! Touch an instrument!”  
  
Kei rolls his eyes and humors his boyfriend by touching the lyre, sound coming out of it as well.  
  
“Isn’t this so cool?” Tetsurou asks excitedly.  
  
“It’s cool I guess.”  
  
“Touch another!” Tetsurou urges as he touches the horn.  
  
Kei touches the xylophone and it too makes a sound just like the others.  
  
“This is so cool! Let’s keep going!”  
  
The following crypt looks like a large stone bathtub. A sculpture of the captain who the crypt belongs to lies in it. A noise came from the crypt, as if the sculpture was about to sneeze. When it sneezes, the crypt squirts out water and both of them jump back slightly, nearly bumping into other guests.  
  
The final crypt is for a writer who died from writer’s block. The sides of the crypt have sculpted books to resemble a library. The back of it has a window with a book behind it. The writer speaks, reciting an unfinished poem, encouraging Tetsurou and Kei to finish it. Kei thinks about a potential ending and speaks into one of the small speakers next to the window. The writer is excited that Kei provides the correct word that completes the poem.  
  
“That’s my Kei! Always so smart,” Tetsurou grins, hugging him tightly, lifting him in the air slightly.  
  
“It was easy,” Kei wheezes, struggling to breathe while in Tetsurou’s tight embrace.  
  
Tetsurou puts his boyfriend down with that grin still plastered on his face and let go of him so they can continue on.  
  
As they exit the cemetery, they are told to wait by a cast member, wearing a green and black striped dress, as they let the current guests through. While they wait they look at the few other tombstones that are up on a small hill to their left. One of them is the tomb of Madame Leota; one of the other 999 happy haunts residing in the mansion. Her tombstone is different than the rest. Her’s has her face on it and if you catch it at the right time, you can see her eyes open, watching guests as they enter the mansion. Tetsurou makes sure to take a picture of that.  
  
It is finally time for them to enter the mansion. The cast member opens the doors for them and other guests, greeting them unenthusiastically. Tetsurou’s heart starts pounding as he grabs Kei’s hand, entering the mansion and walking into the foyer.  
  
They hear the Ghost Host’s narration as they look around gazing at all of the detail. They notice a portrait of the master of the house hung above the fireplace to their left. He is a handsome young man, but as they look longer he starts aging before their very eyes until he is only a skeleton. Tetsurou shudders while Kei is unphased.  
  
A wall opens up to the left of the portrait, revealing a room. Guests are ushered into the room which had four portraits adorning the wall. The Ghost Host speaks up again in an eerie voice, welcoming the foolish mortals to the Haunted Mansion. He introduces himself and lets everyone know that the tour of the mansion begins in the gallery they are standing in. He mentions the four portraits of some of their guests in their corruptible, mortal state and everyone looks at all four them. A young lady with a parasol, an old woman, a bearded gentleman, and a man in a bowler hat.  
  
Tetsurou can feel himself getting nervous. _There’s no reason to be scared. It’s just a ride_ , he thought to himself. He takes a deep breath and squeezes Kei’s hand. “There’s no need to be scared, Kei,” Tetsurou whispers in his boyfriend’s ear.  
  
“I’m not though,” Kei responds nonchalantly.  
  
“I know you don’t like to admit it, but it’s ok if you are.”  
  
“I’m fine. Now stop squeezing my hand. It hurts.”  
  
Tetsurou obliges, giving him an apologetic look.  
  
The Ghost Host tells everyone to kindly step all the way in. The wall closes, sealing everyone into the room as they’re told that there is no turning back now. A cast members tell everyone to step away from the walls and drag their bodies into the dead center of the room.  
  
The Ghost Host continues to speak as the room stretches asking if the room is actually stretching or if it is their imagination. The portraits that stretch reveal the morbid fates of the four soon-to-be residents of the mansion. He mentions that the chamber has no windows or doors so he offers everyone the challenge of finding a way out. Of course, there is always his way.  
  
Thunder claps as the lights go out and a loud scream is heard. Tetsurou jumps slightly from the thunder and clutches his chest. He can hear Kei and other guests snicker and giggle at his reaction. Luckily, he isn’t the only one who was startled. A few kids are crying or clinging to their parents, begging them to leave. He straightens  
  
When the lights come back on the Ghost Host apologizes for frightening the guests prematurely. He talks a little bit more as the wall opens up revealing a passageway to the dimly lit loading area for the guests to walk through so they can continue their little tour.  
  
“You missed the dead body,” Kei bluntly tells him as the guests around them exit the room.  
  
Tetsurou slowly looks over at Kei, eyes widening. “D-Dead body?”  
  
“He was hanging above the ceiling,” he points upwards to the ceiling where the dead body is hiding above it in the cupola.  
  
Tetsurou follows Kei’s finger and looks up. He shudders at the thought of a dead body hanging above.  
  
They notice that they are one of the last few guests left in the stretching room so Tetsurou quickly grabs Kei’s hand as he stiffly walks out. _Get a grip Tetsurou. It’s not scary._ He takes a deep breath and puffs up his chest a little, showing that he’s the confident, not scared, boyfriend. Kei, the embarrassed boyfriend, ignores him.  
  
The passageway quickly becomes narrow and everyone is shoving their way towards the front to get on as quickly as possible. Tetsurou keeps Kei close so they don’t get separated. He doesn’t want his boyfriend to ride with a stranger or worse. _Alone_ .  
  
The Ghost Host speaks up once more to give them the safety spiel. The two weave in and out of the path to their carriage or “Doom Buggies” that will take them through the mansion. Once it is their turn to board the black clamshell-looking vehicles, the cast member asks them to wait until they can safely board. A few seconds later, she signals them to go ahead.  
  
They walk onto the moving platform and the next cast member points to their Doom Buggy. They have to move quickly because they are constantly moving. Tetsurou allows Kei to get in first and he follows.  
  
Tetsurou and Kei begin their tour with a steep stairwell that leads into a hallway with four paintings on their right and windows where flashes of lightning can be seen on their left.  
  
The four paintings look innocent. A lady dressed in black lying on a daybed, propping herself up on the arm rest, a ship out on the water, a knight on a horse, and a beautiful woman in a Greek temple. The pictures are not always as they seem though. It is the Haunted Mansion after all. When the lightning flashes, their true nature is revealed. An anthropomorphic tiger, a ghost ship in the middle of a storm, a skeleton knight and horse, and Medusa with the temple in ruins.  
  
As they enter the following room, the Doom Buggies turn to face the library with hundreds of books filling the bookshelves. A few chairs, a small table, and a chandelier decorate the room. Marble busts follow the guests’ every move from their spots within the wall.  
  
A piano is being played without a pianist in the music room? Kei looks down at the floor and sees the moonlight revealing a ghost pressing down on the keys. Tetsurou pouts as he watches Kei’s movements, wondering when the attraction will get really scary. He wants to be a hero damn it.  
  
After leaving the music room, the Doom Buggies turn forward again. They face a room with many endless staircases going every which way on either side of them and above them as they ascend the grand staircase. Kei looks around and notices some of the staircases have glowing green footprints walking up or down the steps.  
  
Tetsurou glances around as well as they head towards the next room where creepy, glowing eyes on the wallpaper watch them from either side as they pass through.  
  
The Doom Buggies turn and face a moving knight statue holding a poleaxe and shield that stands next to an endless hallway lit by chandeliers with a candelabra dancing in the distance. They feel a gust of cold air as they pass by prompting Tetsurou to wrap an arm around Kei’s shoulder to keep him close for warmth. Kei doesn’t argue.  
  
Leaving the endless hallway, the Doom Buggies turn so the guests are facing backwards as they go through the conservatory. To their right, a coffin is at the center surrounded by dead flowers and plants. A crow with glowing red eyes sits on top of a withered wreath on a stand. The ghost inside the coffin struggles to push open the lid, pleading to be let out.  
  
This is his chance! Tetsurou whispers in Kei’s ear, his voice slightly quivering, “It’s ok, Kei. He won’t get out and hurt you.”  
  
Kei moves out of his boyfriend’s hold and scowls at him. “I’m not scared.”  
  
_So much for trying to be the cool boyfriend,_ Tetsurou thinks. Clearly his plan isn’t working.  
  
Kei sits up straight again and keeps his attention on the attraction while his boyfriend continues to pout.  
  
They are led through a hallway of doors; each one different than the rest on either side of them. One rattles the door knocker, one appears as if it were breathing, while another growls. Tetsurou looks back and forth between all of them and leans in towards Kei, clearly creeped out by the doors.  
  
The Doom Buggies turn again and they come face to face with a creepy, demonic grandfather clock as the shadow of a claw passes over it. The minute hand spins endlessly as the clock chimes when it strikes unlucky 13.  
  
They hear incantations being chanted as they reach the seance room filled with floating instruments that respond to the incantations. Madame Leota is in the center; her head in a crystal ball that floats above a table as she summons spirits from regions beyond. Tetsurou internally prays that one might jump out and scare Kei, but his plans are once again foiled.  
  
The Doom Buggies ascend to a balcony as they leave Madame Leota behind. The Ghost host lets them know that the happy haunts have received their sympathetic vibrations and are starting to materialize. They are expecting him and will see the everyone a little later.  
  
They are facing towards a gorgeous ballroom where ghosts are materializing for them when the Ghost Host leaves. Ghosts are celebrating a birthday party at the table in the center where one blows out candles on the cake as couples dance to their left. A ghost plays music on the organ for everyone to dance to, a couple sits on top of a chandelier drinking merrily, and two portraits come to life for a gun duel.  
  
As they enter the attic, a mournful version of “Here Comes the Bride” can be heard. The attic is covered from ceiling to floor in cobwebs and filled to the brim with gifts, wedding portraits, furniture, and various trinkets. The wedding portraits are scattered throughout the attic showing a beautiful bride with a different groom who loses his head.  
  
Tetsurou starts to panic a little bit as they get closer and closer to the bride herself as she recites her morbid wedding vows.  
  
“She kills her husbands, Kei! She chops off their heads!” he whispers loudly, slightly shaking his boyfriend after he places his hands on his shoulder.  
  
Of course Tetsurou is on the same side as the bride so when Kei tells him to look to his left he shrieks loudly. The bride is right there in front of him, with her hatchet in her hands, grinning evilly at him as she says, “Til death do us part.”  
  
Kei does his best not to laugh at his poor boyfriend who looks like he nearly scared himself to death. If it weren’t so dark, Kei could swear that Tetsurou’s face is as pale as a ghost’s.  
  
After they travel backwards down a staircase to the entrance of the graveyard, Kei wraps an arm around his boyfriend and pulls him into an embrace to console him. “There, there,” he says. He knows this isn’t want Tetsurou wanted. It is the exact opposite so he bites his tongue and plays the hero.  
  
The graveyard is where ghosts are having a swinging wake. The song, “Grim Grinning Ghosts” is sung throughout the graveyard by 5 stone busts. Many tombstones, crypts, and withered trees decorate the graveyard and ghosts are scattered throughout; each with a unique look.  
  
Tetsurou sits back up, Kei’s arm still wrapped around him, and looks at the graveyard that surrounds them on both sides. The music is happy so it can’t be that scary, right?  
  
Wrong.  
  
There also happen to be a ghost that pops out from a coffin that, you guessed it, is also on the side where Tetsurou sits.  
  
He shrieks once more when the ghost pops out and clings onto Kei, who just sighs. He buries his face into Kei’s shoulder and refuses to move until the attraction is over.  
  
Kei is not going to let his scaredy cat boyfriend ruin the rest of the attraction, which appears to be ending soon anyways. He continues to look around at all the ghost that are in the graveyard until they reach the final room where the Ghost Host warns them about the hitchhiking ghosts that are in front of them.  
  
The Doom Buggies make a final turn and they face mirrors that show themselves and the hitchhiking ghost playing tricks on everyone as they pass by.  
  
After passing the mirrors they move forward and see a little female ghost wearing a white dress and a veil while holding flowers on top of the exit of the final room. She says to them, “Hurry back! Hurry back! Be sure to bring your death certificate if you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now.” She pauses for a moment before continuing, “We’ve been dying to have you.”  
  
The Doom Buggies exit the room and they are led to another moving platform where the cast members tell them to exit and watch their step. Kei quickly shakes Tetsurou so they can get off without causing any backup. “Tetsurou! The ride’s over. Get out.”  
  
Tetsurou lifts his head up and sees that the attraction is indeed over and quickly hops out once the safety bar is raised with Kei following close behind.  
  
“Never again,” Tetsurou states as calmly as possible as they leave and return to the entrance.  
  
Kei smiles softly at him and pulls him into a hug. “I’ll protect you from those scary ghosts,” he responds with a teasing tone.  
  
Tetsurou looks up at him, his lips protruding out as he wraps his arms around him. “I wanted to be the cool boyfriend who protects you.”  
  
“You should know by now that most of your plans backfire.” He pulls out of the hug and places a hand on his hips, cocking them to one side. “Would meeting a princess make you feel better?”  
  
Tetsurou’s eyes light up like the stars in the clear night sky. While things didn’t go according to plan, he is very grateful for the display of affection he’s getting from Kei. Maybe Disney World really is as magical as they say.  
  
He quickly pulls out the map from his backpack to check where the princesses are meeting. He finds out that they are meeting at Fairytale Hall in Fantasyland which is next door to them and puts away the map. He grabs Kei’s hand and drags him in the direction to Fairytale Hall. “We’re meeting Rapunzel first,” he grins.  
  
Kei can’t help the grin that quickly forms on his face. He loves seeing his boyfriend when he’s shining bright like the sun. It warms his heart like hot cocoa on a cold winter evening. Maybe meeting some princesses won’t be so bad if it means he gets to see the brightest smile on Tetsurou’s face more often.

**Author's Note:**

> Kuroo's [Shirt](https://c2.staticflickr.com/2/1805/28233445967_6d924b5a41_o.jpg), [Pass Case](https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/914/41291318200_4ffb99ef62_o.jpg), [Hat](https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/840/28233446007_554fd7e390.jpg/)  
> Tsukki's [Shirt](https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/925/41291318270_df99d0000f_o.jpg), [Pass Case](https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/836/41291318370_cb56134b50_o.jpg), [Hat](https://c2.staticflickr.com/2/1770/28233446137_d9ebc7ba82_o.png)
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr if you ever want to chat!  
> [Tumblr](https://pastelstrawberryprincess.tumblr.com/)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/pastelstarjem)


End file.
